Bear with me. This post is going to bring some quite painful sharing. It'll be worth it, my pain will most likely be to your amusement.
I am not always the most confident of people. I think I've well established this fact. When it comes to talking to people, the more I feel a need to get it right, the more certain it is I will freeze up and become a nervous mess. Give me a bit of time and patience and I'll probably be the polar opposite - embarrassing myself from being a bit too comfortable and doing weird things like hiding under edit suites or curling up on the floor or writing poems about codecs. (Not that I've done any of those things ever...ahem)
Back to my rubbish over-thinking-every-moment self. Imagine my shaking (sadly literally, more on that later), trembling self when someone I'm a huge fan of was a client at work for a while. I'm talking a huge star who's worked on many shows that I'm a little bit in love with. Imagine, then read the painful reality.
So let me put off telling you for a moment, in order to pre-emptively and fairly pointlessly try and redeem myself. There maybe could have been ways I could have avoided putting myself across so catastrophically. I have, believe it or not, been known to be able to communicate clearly and happily with people I want to in the past. A spare moment to have even a brief conversation that wasn't about lunch or drink orders, or if I hadn't known this person would be there in advance, for example, would have kept Overly-Anxious-Naomi at bay. However, since there was a door sign with their name on for days before their arrival (which I may have even put up), and every time I went in the room everyone was engrossed in their work, I over-thought things before I even got to the door, and then when I did get the other side of it I found it very difficult to judge the room and just sort of floundered.
The wording of which has pushed me straight into embarrassing 'Naomi looks like an idiot in front of famous people' moment number 1.
She walks through the door, and, despite the million panicky, frantic yet completely useless thoughts running through her head, she manages to hand out the drinks with a relative calmness. (Comparative to a duck appearing calm whilst paddling madly under the surface, albeit the duck's still shaking a little). She spots some used mugs on the desk, so she dutifully collects them up. One is empty and one about a quarter full.
'That's a relief' she thinks. 'Carrying full mugs in these circumstances could only lead to bad things.'
The suite's habitants get back to work. Excellent. She's almost appeared normal. Time to get out fast.
Unfortunately, as a clumsy person, this is one the worst decisions she had ever made. She may have pondered this upon her exit had she not walked fairly violently into the door frame at that particular moment. Violently enough to cause the quarter-full mug to become slightly less than a quarter full. Quite spectacularly.
When it comes to other things, like a piece of editing or an exam, I can use that nervous energy and really make the best of it, but when it comes to this sort of situation I sort of fall apart a bit, and walk into door frames, apparently.
I should clarify for anyone who knows/works out who it is I met, the person in question was extremely lovely and remarkably patient with me. They clearly made the effort to learn my name because they used it once and I certainly hadn't the wits about me to introduce myself.
And here's the thing that really annoys me about the way I was. As much as I admire their work, they are still just a person, a human being who more than likely just wants to be treated as such.
There is a small comfort to be found in that I have floundered in front of many people, not just ones involved in telly, but it really is the tiniest of comforts. Yes, ok, I'm putting off 'Naomi looks like an idiot in front of famous people' moment number 2.
She walks into the edit suite, coffee on tray and tray on hand. Challenge 1. Don't walk into door frame. Challenge complete. Challenge 2. Hand out drinks. For a person who over-thinks every second of their life, this is somewhat trickier. Option 1: Hand drink over to the client, this is slightly awkward as only one person can get the handle, leaving the other with the scalding hot mug. Option 2: Put drink on table, a safer option but somehow always feels a bit abrupt and impolite.
Sadly, she went for both options. Not quite at the same time, but nonetheless very quickly, one after the other, in the process accidentally taunting the client as to whether they'd get their coffee or not. Fantastic.
In my defence, I'd like to point out that I'm normally much better at my job. Honest.
Believe it or not, there are many points about my faith I could pull from this, but, with hindsight, I think this is the most significant one - sometimes it's better that we don't know what's coming. I am convinced that had I simply walked unknowingly into the room with my usual smile and 'good morning!', the tone would have been set and my shell well and truly smashed before it could make so much as an appearance. Granted, I may have been somewhat shocked but I would have just had to deal with it.
After all, I had, in some ways been unknowingly preparing for this. I spend all day serving people who's work in the industry I greatly admire, and at first it was daunting and scary but it was what I had to do day-in, day-out so I got used to it and learned that the best way to handle myself was to simply realise that these people are real, hard working human beings and try to give them the best service possible.
In my desperation to make it in the world of editing I always really want to know what's coming next and if that big chance is ever going to happen, but that's for God to know and me to find out. That's not to say He doesn't always tell people where they're going to end up (or that I'm going to stop really wanting to know) but He knows when it's good for us to know and when it's best for us to just walk through that door and find out, perhaps be a little shell-shocked, let Him dust us off and carry on, using what we've already learned, the tone already set.
I'm already seeing great signs of hope in the television industry and that God has great plans for it. I look back at the past few months and can see that God is definitely preparing me for something or other. I really hope I'm the two are linked, but for now I'm going to do my very best to keep working away at my career, learning what I can about the job I want to do, without knowing for sure where it's going to lead me. It's the only way to avoid embarrassing coffee moments, metaphorical or otherwise.
I'm just going to hide under my duvet and pretend the world doesn't exist for a while now.
Tuesday, 21 January 2014
Monday, 6 January 2014
Watching the Message
The other day a nostalgia trip ending in me considering the inherent dangers faced when trying to make attractive programming about God. How's that for an opening sentence?
For those who haven't heard of it, a big hit in the world of Christian media is a show called 'VeggieTales'. It sounds bizarre and silly, and many ways it definitely is. You haven't really seen it all until you've watched David and Goliath play out as a tiny asparagus fighting a giant pickle. The Israelites order pizza at one point, the sheep that 'Dave' tends to frequently fall over, and the Philistines are all peas that cry ' 'Allo Israelites (they have vaguely French sounding accents). You are pigs and soon we will put apples in your mouths and stick you in our toaster ovens!'. I think that to this day it's still one of the best pieces of openly Christian video to be found.
The show has its own sense of humour, a very original premise (sorry Miranda, this was around way before vegti-pals) and always stays true to its purpose, which is to teach children about Christian morals. It's perfectly pitched for it's target audience but is well-written enough that adults don't feel like watching it with their kids it some sort of endurance test. Actually, I'll admit that many of us still quite enjoy watching it. As it's primarily aimed at children, it does spell out its message somewhat, but it's always careful that the message is uplifting and encourages a positive contribution to the world. Plus, somehow it's slightly less irritating being told 'what we've learned today' when the message is constantly being interrupted by the 'what we have learned' song.
With such fond memories, that left me interested to see how this thespian ratatouille was doing, all these years on. A quick search on Youtube brought up lots of pirated nostalgia, but also an official channel, and the first video I stumbled across from it was the theme song for a production that came out in 2012 called 'The League of Incredible Vegetables'. Once you get past the idea of a crime fighting salad selection, it's actually not a bad song for its target audience. It's (infuriatingly) catchy, creates a tone for the film, has some fun word play ('flex our veggie-mite'...heh), and is performed by an established band. (One of my favourite worship songs is by them, and no, it contains no mention of vegetables). However, there is one element of it that just made my heart break a little. There is only one female character, and her sole selling point is that she's 'looking stylish, yeah she's wearing it well.' Has sexism in the church really only moved onto being on the same level as sexism in much of the secular media industry? Of course it hasn't, but in a world where there is very little Christian media with both budget and talent behind it, it would be very easy to get that impression. The church already attracts a lot of negative attention for its supposed views on women, and this really doesn't help our case.
Children often like to pick a favourite character that is the same gender as them, and as a child I would have not been impressed with my choice. I was never really interested in the way I looked, my parents taught me that there's so much more to the world than that. For children that young it could go one of either two ways. It can isolate them, leaving them to shun what would otherwise be a beneficial film for them to enjoy, or it could convince a young girl that in order to matter in this world the most important thing for her to do is to look good. I know it's only one song from one film but we already have plenty of very popular media that plays out that little lie, the last thing we need is Christians joining in.
I can see the difficulties that Big Idea (the original company behind the show) face. When the show started, almost every edition featured the telling of a Bible story, and there are a lot of men in the Bible, especially the parts often taught to children. However, how hard would it really have been to have at least one female character who's capable of actually doing something interesting.
I don't believe that the makers set out to deliver a sexist message at all - it's not like Bob the tomato is going to pop up at the end, look disgruntled as the 'what we have learned' song plays through, then turn to the kids and say 'and don't forget girls, the only way you can get to where the guys are is by standing round and looking pretty', but that's the impression the song gives. We can make things cool and modern, but we have to watch the message we're portraying. When we start to retell or create our own versions of God's word, we're already putting our own spin on the truth - that's inevitable, many people see their Christian faith differently, hence so many denominations, but we must be careful that our truth doesn't cover up God's truth. It can be incredibly easy to accidentally send out the wrong message when story-telling. Every decision you make (consciously or unconsciously) sends out a message. Who the characters are, how much of their story you tell, who's point of view you focus on, what happens in the narrative, all tell the audience something, and it's much easier to accidentally fire out a message than it is to really touch people with an intentional moral. It's not about brainwashing people into believing one thing or another, it's about saying as Christians that we are going to take responsibility for the media we create.
It's a hurdle to face rather than an excuse to not do it, but I think we need to be extremely careful when we put media out in the name of God. I've said before that good storytelling is powerful, but good storytelling doesn't always send out a good message. If our stories touch upon subjects that transfer into the real world, then we need to think about the effect it will have and address it appropriately. Think about it this way - some of the best stories don't have to tell you what to think all the time, the story speaks for itself. That inevitably means that sometimes people are going to draw things from a narrative, line of dialogue or character that we don't intend. That can often be a really positive thing, but we need to watch what we're unintentionally saying. It may even be that we've drawn up a mirror to a way of thinking that isn't healthy and need to take a look at our own attitudes back in the real world.
As a church I think we should embrace the fun, smart, original telling of God's word, in fact I'm crying out for more of it, but let's do it properly. thoughtfully, prayerfully and yes, let's appeal to certain audiences that are on our heart, but not at the expense of the portrayal of others.
For those who haven't heard of it, a big hit in the world of Christian media is a show called 'VeggieTales'. It sounds bizarre and silly, and many ways it definitely is. You haven't really seen it all until you've watched David and Goliath play out as a tiny asparagus fighting a giant pickle. The Israelites order pizza at one point, the sheep that 'Dave' tends to frequently fall over, and the Philistines are all peas that cry ' 'Allo Israelites (they have vaguely French sounding accents). You are pigs and soon we will put apples in your mouths and stick you in our toaster ovens!'. I think that to this day it's still one of the best pieces of openly Christian video to be found.
The show has its own sense of humour, a very original premise (sorry Miranda, this was around way before vegti-pals) and always stays true to its purpose, which is to teach children about Christian morals. It's perfectly pitched for it's target audience but is well-written enough that adults don't feel like watching it with their kids it some sort of endurance test. Actually, I'll admit that many of us still quite enjoy watching it. As it's primarily aimed at children, it does spell out its message somewhat, but it's always careful that the message is uplifting and encourages a positive contribution to the world. Plus, somehow it's slightly less irritating being told 'what we've learned today' when the message is constantly being interrupted by the 'what we have learned' song.
With such fond memories, that left me interested to see how this thespian ratatouille was doing, all these years on. A quick search on Youtube brought up lots of pirated nostalgia, but also an official channel, and the first video I stumbled across from it was the theme song for a production that came out in 2012 called 'The League of Incredible Vegetables'. Once you get past the idea of a crime fighting salad selection, it's actually not a bad song for its target audience. It's (infuriatingly) catchy, creates a tone for the film, has some fun word play ('flex our veggie-mite'...heh), and is performed by an established band. (One of my favourite worship songs is by them, and no, it contains no mention of vegetables). However, there is one element of it that just made my heart break a little. There is only one female character, and her sole selling point is that she's 'looking stylish, yeah she's wearing it well.' Has sexism in the church really only moved onto being on the same level as sexism in much of the secular media industry? Of course it hasn't, but in a world where there is very little Christian media with both budget and talent behind it, it would be very easy to get that impression. The church already attracts a lot of negative attention for its supposed views on women, and this really doesn't help our case.
Children often like to pick a favourite character that is the same gender as them, and as a child I would have not been impressed with my choice. I was never really interested in the way I looked, my parents taught me that there's so much more to the world than that. For children that young it could go one of either two ways. It can isolate them, leaving them to shun what would otherwise be a beneficial film for them to enjoy, or it could convince a young girl that in order to matter in this world the most important thing for her to do is to look good. I know it's only one song from one film but we already have plenty of very popular media that plays out that little lie, the last thing we need is Christians joining in.
I can see the difficulties that Big Idea (the original company behind the show) face. When the show started, almost every edition featured the telling of a Bible story, and there are a lot of men in the Bible, especially the parts often taught to children. However, how hard would it really have been to have at least one female character who's capable of actually doing something interesting.
I don't believe that the makers set out to deliver a sexist message at all - it's not like Bob the tomato is going to pop up at the end, look disgruntled as the 'what we have learned' song plays through, then turn to the kids and say 'and don't forget girls, the only way you can get to where the guys are is by standing round and looking pretty', but that's the impression the song gives. We can make things cool and modern, but we have to watch the message we're portraying. When we start to retell or create our own versions of God's word, we're already putting our own spin on the truth - that's inevitable, many people see their Christian faith differently, hence so many denominations, but we must be careful that our truth doesn't cover up God's truth. It can be incredibly easy to accidentally send out the wrong message when story-telling. Every decision you make (consciously or unconsciously) sends out a message. Who the characters are, how much of their story you tell, who's point of view you focus on, what happens in the narrative, all tell the audience something, and it's much easier to accidentally fire out a message than it is to really touch people with an intentional moral. It's not about brainwashing people into believing one thing or another, it's about saying as Christians that we are going to take responsibility for the media we create.
It's a hurdle to face rather than an excuse to not do it, but I think we need to be extremely careful when we put media out in the name of God. I've said before that good storytelling is powerful, but good storytelling doesn't always send out a good message. If our stories touch upon subjects that transfer into the real world, then we need to think about the effect it will have and address it appropriately. Think about it this way - some of the best stories don't have to tell you what to think all the time, the story speaks for itself. That inevitably means that sometimes people are going to draw things from a narrative, line of dialogue or character that we don't intend. That can often be a really positive thing, but we need to watch what we're unintentionally saying. It may even be that we've drawn up a mirror to a way of thinking that isn't healthy and need to take a look at our own attitudes back in the real world.
As a church I think we should embrace the fun, smart, original telling of God's word, in fact I'm crying out for more of it, but let's do it properly. thoughtfully, prayerfully and yes, let's appeal to certain audiences that are on our heart, but not at the expense of the portrayal of others.
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